My Head is Spinning Again

Yesterday was a crazy day. Garrett had ST, OT, PT, and his yearly visit to the geneticist. It was a long, long day. The boys had to eat lunch 1 hour early. Rylan was fine with this, but Garrett wasn't really hungry. They didn't really get naps. Rylan was exhausted by the time Garrett was in PT (4pm), but he can't sleep just anywhere anymore. Garrett came out of PT crying. I knew he was wiped out too.

My head is spinning because I just can't quite wrap myself around the idea that Garrett still does not have a dx. How can he not have a dx with everything that is going on with him? My worst fear is that Garrett is mentally retarded. As I watch Rylan learn, it just nags at me even more how slowly Garrett learns. He learns, but it is slow...the precise definition of metal retardation. The genticist told me doctors and educators can usually tell at age 3-6 if a child is mentally retarded. But, he also added that anything interfering with speech development (i.e. Garrett possibly having verbal apraxia), throws that right out the window. I just wish I knew one way or the other so that I could move on. It will be difficult for me to accept it if he is MR. I know I will accept it eventually, but I don't really want to face it.

What did I do about my spinning head? I googled a few things, of course. WHY do I do that????? Why do I think I can dx him if 4 different doctors can't? I have told them every single thing about Garrett. If they can't figure it out, I sure can't. But still, I try. I always end up in the same spot...several things that could fit if I really stretch my imagination.

I'm just glad the geneticist did not order a blood draw yesterday. Garrett hasn't had a blood draw in over a year, and I imagine he would do a wonderful job at fighting it. He was scared to death to even be measured.